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How would the main character of the last game you played do in Equestria?

Hard mode: Write a short greentext story about it.


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>Don't Starve
The gentleman scientist Wilson would most assuredly do well. He deals with supernatural elements in the game as well, so he ought to get the hang of the magic of friendship as well.


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> they were such wonderful, beautiful, loving ponies.

> why wouldn't they share any of their bounty with him?
> why did they turn off their lights when he drew near?
> why did they leave him to die in the darkness?
> he had no choice.
> winter was here.
> it was this or death.
> he hadn't had a full meal in days.
> he hoped that it would be quick.
> he hoped that she could forgive him.
> he hoped the axe would be sharp enough.
> he had to separate her from the herd.
> nopony must know…





I made this tripcode just for you


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How would Automation fit in? Last finished vehicle was this group B rally car, so perhaps id need to bring Twilight on a technical rally course with it?

Kinda sucks how this dark humour is kind of gone nowadays from the fandom, cute ponies and grotesque themes have a weird but at the same time interesting contrast


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I bet she would feel right at home.


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>Hotline Miami
Well, if Equestria has a mafia problem, it won't for long.



She'd probably stop all of Equestria's threats tbh


Well, the last game I played was Secret Lab.
Rape and/or murder ponies, or just smoke a joint with them depending on demeanor or what they got the death penalty for
As soon as they find Twilight, they spend all their time with her, working on research together and probably fucking like animals at night.
Laughed at by every pony there for their small penis size.
Were likely trained for an inter-dimensional rift and sees Equestria as an escapable situation, would likely capture a filly or some other pony to bring back with them and keep a low profile.
Probably about the same as D-boys, but might show a tad bit more restraint.
Kills and eats ponies.
Kills ponies.
Would probably work with Twilight until he killed her a few months later after she was 'infected.'
Would predatorily hunt ponies, as is characteristic.


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>A creaking machine made of logs and iron rolls into Ponyville.
>All the menacing spikes and swirling blades make it clear that it's something to stay away from so ponies watch it from afar.
>Suddenly, the machine explodes into action.
>Wobbly catapults lob bombs into nearby houses, while pipes at the machine's sides start spewing flames.
Ponies flee as the machine starts plowing into houses, parts and splinters flying off as bricks and planks collapse on it.
>By the time the royal guard arrives, a large part of Ponyville is demolished and the machine has wrecked itself irrepairably.
>It's work done, it has already won.

The game: Besiege


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My Summer Car

>A human joins the Applewood Derby with a car made of metal.

>The human's car stalls at the starting line
>He swears, flips the bird at his engine, tightens a few bolts and gets the car running again.
>After a few laps his radiator belt snaps, a piston explodes from his engine and his gearbox falls out.
>Swearing more he steps out of the car, and gets hit by a pony that was driving while singing.
Foal Free Press reports: Hit-and-run driver killed young man.


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here's a story of my Dwarf Fortress adventurer…

>You are Abuth Earscoop

>As an outsider, you have just appeared in Ponyville with no clothes or equipment
>The ponies are naked too, so they don't really mind

>Find Carousell Boutique

>No one's in at the moment, so you put on all the hats and dresses that you can fit on

>Find Cutiemark Crusaders

>Greet, by shouting
"Greetings! Life is, in a word, fishes!"
>The ponies are taken back by your shouting and the attire, but Applebloom answers anyway
"Not good. We didn't get our door-to-door salespony cutiemarks, and that just gave Diamond Tiara another

thing to mock us for."
"Where can I find the pony Diamond Tiara?"
"I think she's playing with Silver Spoon at her home at the other end of the town. Why do you ask?
"It was inevitable."
>You turn on the spot and walk away

>You arrive at Diamond Tiara's house, where she's playing with Silver Spoon while Randolph watches.

>Open conversation, yelling
"I am Abuth Earscoop! I have defeated many fearsome enemies!"
>You haven't really killed anything yet, but the fillies are scared and cover behind their butler
>Pointing a finger at Tiara, you continue
"Those who haunt the world and torment the innocent, fear me! I reveal you as a creature of the night and

slay you where you stand!"
The ponies try to run, but you catch them and a brutal bloodbath ensues
>You also decide that this is worth giving yourself a new title

>Return to the crusaders, covered in blood

>Crusaders look at you speechless, and you continue shouting as socially oblivious as always
"I have killed Diamond Tiara, a pitiful creature that begged for mercy and received none!"
>A pony ear you bit off falls from your mouth as you shout
"Slaughtered Silver Spoon, whose name history will forget!"
"Crushed Randolph the butler, who…"
>The crusaders are already running away screaming, so you decide to find something more ambitious to do

>Arrive in the town hall

>You walk to the middle of the floor and shout
"I am Lord Abuth Earscoop the Cup of Indecision, and I conquer this place in the name of The Misty Furs!"
>Misty Furs is the name of a new nation you just invented, but no one takes you seriously
>Punch Mayor Mare in the nose
>Surprised by the violence, the ponies run away screaming. Victory!
>Wander around the empty town hall for a while, before royal guards come after you
"I am Abuth Earscoop the Cup of Indecision, and I have killed…" etc etc.
>The guards press you against the floor
>You continue your attack by trying to bite their hooves
>Guards put a muzzle on you
>You try to defiantly push their hooves with your head
"What kind of monster is this?!"
"Did it come from the Everfree Forest?"
"More likely it's from Tartarus."
"Maybe Princess Twilight could tell us what's going on."
>You try to surrender, but the guards don't believe you
>Clever. If they had let you go, you would have just attacked them from a better position.

In the dungeon the adventurer tries to climb along the wall, but after three feet loses his grip and falls head-first on the stone floor. No one can tell whether it was a suicide, or just part of the creature's natural madness. Twilight Sparkle recognizes the creature as a human, and sets up a Stargate-style military outpost to guard the EQG-portal device.


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>Party Hard 2

With all the parties ponies throw the serial killer would die of exhaustion in a matter of days.


It is terrifying.


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A human has arrived in Equestria, but as time passes, he realizes that not everything is right. This land needs a… Liberal Crime Squad!

He takes a walk around a park, chatting to ponies that look like potential recruits to his cause.

-Want to hear something disturbing? We are ruled by unelected princesses who hold their position by their race alone!
-That IS disturbing! What can I do?

-Want to hear something disturbing? The Elements of Harmony are the most powerful weapon in Equestria, yet we use them without even understanding their true nature!
-Dear me! Is there anything we can do?

-Do you want to hear something disturbing? Despite being just as capable of high culture as everyone else, earth ponies are still mostly associated with hard physical labor!
etc etc.

In the following nights, the human meets with his new friends and discusses things like stallion's rights, forbidden magics and moon banishments, until the ponies become fully determined to fight for the liberal cause. Their movement starts off mildly enough with things like demonstrations, enacting a guard-beatdown and disturbing a party, but as the liberal ponies convince more ponies to their side the movement becomes more and more radical.

Foal Free Press reports: Carousel Boutique vandalized! Mayor's secretary assaulted! Countless pies stolen from windowsills!
Soon after a new newspaper, The Liberal Guardian starts appearing with a different view on the events: Liberal heroes destroy an unicorn industrial plant! Liberals engage in combat with monarchist forces! Freedom fighters liberate enemy resources!

Eventually a pegasus pony is arrested attempting to blow up the weather factory. It turns out she was kidnapped and brainwashed to the liberal cause by tying her to a chair and beating her with tiaras until she saw the light. After a brief rehabilitation therapy the pony rats out her captors, and the royal guard arrests the human and his cohorts. With the charismatic leaders of the movement gone the rest of the liberals lose interest and return to their normal lives, and the Liberal Crime Squad dies out.


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>A floating island hovers toward Cloudsdale.
>Strangely, it consists mostly of soil, with only a few clouds packed here and there.
>And guns. Cannons, lasers, rocket launchers, dozens of them.
>The engines beneath the island strain to keep the sheer mass of armaments afloat.
>It fires once, taking out half of the city with a single salvo.
>And keeps firing, new explosives and projectiles flying out of every square foot of its surface until Cloudsdale has been completely obliterated.
>And then it just floats away. Nopony even considers trying to stop it.

The game: IIslands of War 2: https://jwiggs.itch.io/iislands-of-war


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I *dare* you to try find someone better at teaching someone the meaning of friendship than ponies!


Vigilante time in Equestria


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There was something disturbingly familiar about the party invitation before me, the hoofwriting was all pretty curves.
"You are in a cartoon, Max."

The truth was a burning green crack through my brain.

Colorful ponies prancing around, glimpsed out of the corner of my eye. Endless repetition of the act of making friends, problems arising to be solved by teamwork. The paranoid feel of someone watching my every step.

I was in a cartoon show. Funny as hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.


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>Bloons Tower Defense 5 ( https://www.kongregate.com/games/Ninjakiwi/bloons-td-5 )

Monkeys throwing darts at baloons, or dart-throwing monkeys ambushing travelers along roads? In either case they would be very unwelcome in Equestria.


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herobrine eat twilight ass


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I think Ellis and co. Wouldn't mind visiting equestria after all of what they've been through


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I've been playing Death Road To Canada, and it is AWESOME! I'd say it's all-around best zombie game I've ever played, getting so many things right it's outright brilliant. The zombies are slow and weak but there's endless hordes of them so it's better to push past them than try to slug it out. Throwing furniture is fun and effective, and fits perfectly in the groovy mood of the game where you rush in, wreck shit up and rush out with the loot. And that's just the looting portion - the rest of the game is like Oregon Trail with cars and funny events.

That said, if the group ended up in Equestria they'd have drifted very far from Canada indeed. Still, the very reason of the trip is to get away from Zombies so this would definitely be a win for them. And since they've already dealt with everything from talking dogs to an octopus in a suit, adjusting to a civilization of ponies should be a piece of cake.


>Bloons Tower Defense

I think Pinkie may have something to say to those balloon-popping monkeys.


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>Tiny rover falls through the atmosphere and lands somewhere in Equestria

>Starts harvesting resources, nibbling tiny pieces of rocks and trees
>Builds upgrades
>Harvests more
>Upgrades more
>repeat and repeat
If nopony noticed in time what was happening, there would soon be a massive moving factory tearing through the land, sucking up resources, refining them on the fly and shooting them into space without slowing down. Add to that the ludicrous amounts of guns stapled haphazardly on its every available surface and it would basically be Tirek in a machine form.


>Be me
>Crash on strange world
>Need to get home
>Very bright and colorful world here
>Strange native species look like pastel horses
>Seem sapient and non-hostile
>Curious, but generally leave me alone
>Find some ore veins
>Start building drills
>Start setting up basic automation
>Find body of water and start setting up steam power
>Doing research
>Natives staying away for the most part
>Those that visit don't stay long and cough a lot
>Keep expanding
>Get trains running
>Finally find a source of oil
>It's right near a native settlement
>Set up processing
>Natives don't seem pleased
>One of natives, purple, probably their leader, visits me
>She says my machines are killing crops
>I suggest they grow elsewhere, as I need the machines to be able to get home
>Agree to do what I can to lessen pollution
>Set up a solar power farm
>It's not really that much, all things considered
>Natives start protesting near my machines
>Don't they know those are dangerous?
>Start setting up walls around my areas
>This seems to anger the natives
>They start trying to tear down the walls and my machines
>What the fuck did I do to them?
>Start mass production of turrets and ammo
>Set up defenses
>It only takes a few injured to cause a retreat
>Checking radar
>See them amassing a force a ways outside my base
>Definitely armed
>Shame I just researched artillery
>That'll teach them
>Finally get my rocket silo up and running
>Launch a test payload with a satellite
>Get back some amazing data
>No way I'm leaving yet


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Sprout Idle Garden

>be one of the gardeners

>walk around paths in nature, picking flowers
>hangs out with flower trio
>grow flowers in equestria, too


Cooking Mama

Pinkie Pie could do wonders with her.

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