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What are some of your personal headcanons? I named this thread crackpot headcanon thread to include all headcanons, including ones that don't make sense or definitely aren't canon.

Here's some of of mine for starters:
-Gak is Changeling cum
-Changelings cannot turn into
zebras. This is why ponies in alternate timeline used bodypaint to reveal changelings among them.
-Spike wasn't really clumsy in 'Spike At Your Service', he just wanted back to Twilight so he made Applejack not want him serving her.
-All EQG girls have big boobs. Every bipedal female has. If they're not shown in the show, that's just because it's censored for kids.


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Did Shining Armor get to the royal guard due to his education and military prowess? No, but he's a white stallion with blue eyes.


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And blue hair.



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He most certainly became a captain by sleeping with a princess.


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Have you noticed that we've never seen a pipe in the show used for anything but bubbles? Whatever the pony version of smoking is, obviously the bubbles are what come out of the pipe when they do it.

This also explains Derpys cutiemark, eyes and clumsiness: She is constantly stoned.


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Sunset Shimmer has the beauty ideals of a pony, and in humanland enjoys horses.


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She's Celestia's daughter. Tell me I'm wrong.


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That would actually explain why she hasn't aged even though she was was Celestia's student before Twilight even became her protege.


pretty sure he was talking about vinyl m8


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Wel that's unexpected. How did >>182 come to such conclusion?


Just her vaguely Celestia-like appearance. It was a dumb idea that wormed its way into my head and refused to leave.


Now well, Sunset seems to be the potentiated version of Celestia, and Twi the Luna version.


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Sunset's magical studies are more focused on battle-useful spells.


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This just in: Celestia reproduces through budding! Her plot grows bigger and bigger until it drops off and starts to live as a new white pony.


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In Equestria mares admire big balls as much as human males love big breasts.


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This is my headcanon of all spas in general.


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Celestia isn't as useless as she lets on. As confirmed by the show an Lauren Faust herself, she has prophetic dreams and unknown levels of clairvoyance intentionally left vague.

So why does she get her ass kicked so often and easily? Because she knows that the best outcomes never result from her force use. If she had defeated Chrysalis herself, Cadence and Shining Armor wouldn't have learned the explosive power of their love for each other and Shining would have been just a victim needing rescue. If Celestia had wiped the Gak out of the gala, Treehugger wouldn't have had a chance to show off her hippie skills and Discord wouldn't have learned the lesson he did. Hell, the whole idea of sending Twilight to Ponyville was obviously her plan from the start.

If Celestia defeated every threat herself, very soon that would be all she'd be doing. She wants to create a happy Equestria where everypony does their best, not babysit a helpless land that turns to her as the first solution to any new problem.


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My headcanon is that Derpy has a whole family including Dinky, but also Sparkler, the Doctor, and Chirpy. However, we never get to see them be together as a family in the show… unlike the Mane 6…


>All EQG girls have big boobs. Every bipedal female has. If they're not shown in the show, that's just because it's censored for kids.

If all EQG girls have big boobs, then do all EQG boys have big balls?


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Never thought of that. The boys are not within my interests, but they definitely don't look very manly.


They definitely don't.


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Nothing I know can top the headcanon that G4 is a prequel to G1.


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Sort of related, the whole royal guard is primarily just Celestia's eyecandy.


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Zecora isn't evil, but she does meddle with some dark arts that wouldn't be accepted by pony society. This is why she had the alicorn semen potion in Princess Twilight Sparkle, and why she lives outside ponyville in the forest.


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Got the "candy" part right


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Quoted from an old thread somewhere: "Snails's cutiemark isn't a snail because he's slow. It's because snails are hermaphrodites. Snails is a hermaphrodite.


Just remembered a headcanon where Snails's Cutie Mark means he burns through his magic supply way slower than a normal pony does. If he picks something up, it's staying up until somepony tells him to put it down.


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Equestria has been in a stable state for thousands of years. (no pun intended) There's no mass-production because ponies like personalized items that need to be crafted for the individual, and there's no need for automotives because in Equestria cars really can't replace horses. Funny enough, we have seen ponies capable of both of these things if needed, but they're not popular.

All the endless parties must be a resource sink too. They could be planned out like the endless war in 1984, but I believe it's more likely that ponies are just so happy and cheerful people that using resources on having even more fun is exactly what they'd do.


So instead of a Military Industrial Complex, Equestria has a Party Industrial Complex?


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Flurry Heart was born because her parents did something like this.


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All the princesses had to do something great to attain alicornhood, but Flurry Heart became an alicorn before even having a cutiemark. Or did she? Note that we have never seen her without the diaper.
What is her cutiemark that the royalty is hiding from us?


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Twilight will kill Tirek by turning into a breezie and expanding inside his ass.


Equestria is a Penrose sphere ringworld. The sun and the moon that Celestia and Luna raise are just large satellites running off of the power of the black hole.


all those background alicorns? they're real alicorns


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This saloon served bath salts.


This video is canon.



This is what teleporting looks like from the unicorn's point of view.


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This is a headcanon I don't want to have, but evidence for it is hard to ignore.

Is Pinkie Pie actually depressed? Many depressed people try to act forcefully cheerful to cheer up other people, and that fits Pinkie Pie to a T. Even the Pinkie song sings about how "There's one thing that makes her happy and makes her whole life worthwhile, and that's when I talk to my friends and get them to smile."

When she shows sadness, she shows it ironically with cartoony bawling and waterfalls of tears that turn on and off in an instant. It's like Equestria's version of "Haha I want to die" where she just passes it off as a joke. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

When she actually breaks down, it looks entirely different from her two-dimensional cartoon exterior. She withdraws, she doubts her self-worth and her friendships sincerity, and is like an entirely different person from the tireless, eternally cheerful party pony she normally is. And I worry that that might be the real pinkie behind the act.

If she wasn't a character in a childrens show, she could well end up killing herself like Robin Williams and many other people who only wanted to cheer up everyone else. And just like in real world cases, everypony would wonder how she of all ponies could have been depressed when she was so happy and always smiling.

This headcanon hits too close to home and I really don't want it, so if you find something to disprove it that would be nice.



Oh my god.

It really does fit her.

Whyyy :(


You can't stop me from writing a fanfic where my OC notices this and cheers her up for real.


Awww… I'd like to read that.


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I always thought that the Flim Flam bros were secretly disowned Apples, with changed names and rewritten backstory to cut ties after they couldn't get along with the rest of the family and not honoring their values. That's why they seemed familiar to Applejack in what was supposed to be their "first appearance" on fim.


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The aspect i relate to most is how all your effort to make others feel better makes it hurt so bad when they don't have five seconds to consider what Pinkie/i feel like.

She's my pony for a reason, and yes you are dead-on.

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